The same road. The same darkness. I glance up from the passenger side to see a bus driving the same road in the same darkness and it brings me back.
Seventh grade….I was innocent, yet still curious. I was young and yet still had a grown up love for an 8th grade boy. The band bus is where my awkward social shyness turned to confidence. Well, it’s where I grew a little in confidence. I am still socially awkward when it comes to flirting or intimacy, even thirty years later, even with the same 8th grade boy.
The game was called “Truth or Dare.” And, if you were a “good girl” aka awkwardly shy then you would always say “truth,” only for the crowd to turn their attention away from your boring truth of who you liked at the moment, if you were on your period, or the truth about your first kiss. Ironically, many truths were just lies about first kisses because everyone knew if you really had kissed you wouldn’t have said “truth” to begin with. Nobody cares about the truth in Middle School. Middle School is all about faking it until you make it. And, so, if you are brought up to be a Christian, a genuine, a TRUTHFUL kid- “Truth” would seem to be your clear path during the game of Truth or Dare…”Truth” would also be the safe path.
I had always chosen “Truth” over the course of the out of town games. But, that night was different. That particular night, as we drove over the hill and the lights shone from our little town, my heart began to flutter. The adrenaline flushed over me as time was running out. This was our last out of town game to be on the band bus with boys and girls. Next year, he would be in High School. It was now or never. With every second the bus continued to drive toward the town’s lights… the street lights, Exxon lights, DQ lights that would soon shine all over the bus and lift the privacy blanket we had from our band director and sponsors up front.
As the bus climbed the hill, and the lights began to grow, it happened to be my turn. And, I was sweating (well, we all were- it was a 7th and 8th grade band bus after all!) Anyway, the kids were about to discount my turn, as they were all thinking this would be the last kiss of the ride and the last kiss of the football season. But, one girl turned to me in an angelic voice and said “Truth or Dare?”
“Dare!” I proclaimed.
I snap out of my daydream of our first kiss, and dare to think of our truth these days. It’s a dare to get that kind of excitement or attention. We try with a bottle of wine or a sweet text exchange from time to time, but the truth is- IT JUST AINT HAPPENING! Even if we took a bus ride, across the state, it would be difficult to get that sweet kiss back. It would be difficult to get away from the work phone calls, the basket ball practices, the cheer competitions, the in-law needs, and poster boards needed TOMORROW! But, that’s okay. I will take the life we have now and the memory that we started it all with. That sweet kiss began our love story on this road. I will take a stinky basketball boy in the back seat of our suburban and a husband who helps me everyday…. and that’s the truth! I wouldn’t dare change a thing!
Hairnet Heiness