The Gift

While studying at church the Five Love Languages, it wasn’t hard for me to know quickly that mine was “Gifts.” That used to make me ashamed, like I had selfish vanity. I felt guilty that it wasn’t “Acts of Service” but not guilty enough- ha!  I still found myself longing for those gifts to feel loved, instead of my husband emptying the dishwasher. My husband’s  is “Acts of Service” or (like most all males on the planet) “Physical Touch.”

I realized later in my study and marriage that loving to GIVE gifts is one reason that I love to receive them. It is just the love language that I speak. Both my mother and my grandmother showed their love through gifts, as well. Whether it was a new shirt for me they picked up one day, or the creative, thoughtful gifts under the Christmas tree, or an extra $20 stuffed to surprise me, they found joy in showing me love through gifts.

Now, I enjoy finding the perfect gifts for my family and friends. I start looking early….searching, wrapping them special, etc….It makes me find joy by giving in this way and showing my love to others this way.

In all of my 42 years, and all of my gift giving and gift receiving, I can honestly say that the gift I am about to tell you about is the most beautiful, most thoughtful and most memorable!  I received it last night and it will forever be my favorite!

Let me backtrack…

I have a pretty big surgery in about a week. The decision to have the 10-12 hour surgery was a long and wearing decision, but once it was made the waiting has seemed even harder. The months out have now turned to days out, and the time is finally here.

I am having a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgery. Specifically, my reconstruction is called DIEP flap reconstruction, where the breast is taken from your belly fat and rebuilt. The closer the surgery comes the more anxious I have become, and my close friends and family know this.

So, to the gift…..

I finished my day, yesterday, with a long talk with my oldest son. It was late, and the rest of our family was asleep. I stepped out of the shower and went to get ready for bed. And, as I turned the corner I noticed a gift in my closet, hidden away on my dresser of drawers. The card was from my sister-in- law and I assumed it was meant for opening now.

I was all alone, and it was a moment that stood still. I pulled out from underneath the tissue the softest blanket. A blanket to keep me warm during my stay in the hospital. But, the warmth won’t be coming just from the soft fibers of the blanket it will also come from my heart.

You see, the blanket she had made has pictures of all of my family around it. My husband’s face, my three children’s eyes looking back….. memories that are captured in an instant, but last a lifetime. It also has pictures of my mother, sister and brother from Easter.  And, one from our Nashville trip with all of my brothers and sisters- in law.  Each picture was handpicked and perfect!

“All you need is LOVE Joshua 9:1” is written across the middle! And, those simple words really do say it all.

I stood in my closet naked and sobbing!

This gift is the most touching gift of my lifetime, because it shows me the true gift isn’t in the actual gift, but what it represents.

I wrote my sister-in-law, Devin.

I texted: “Bawling! This will forever be the most perfect, memorable, amazing gift of my life! Nothing will ever be better!”

She texted back: “This blanket is for the days you may start to feel sorry for yourself. Just look at the blanket and know these faces are the reason you are doing this…. these faces are the ones who love you so much and these faces will see you through.”

I was sobbing! It is so true and I’m so thankful for that reminder, once more, before I go in for surgery.

As you age, you become less concerned with the physical gifts you receive and more aware of the heavenly gifts.

She is a heavenly gift.

I’m glad my “love language” is gifts, because it helps me recognize the true gifts more clearly. I am so thankful for the gift of knowing about my BRCA mutation, before getting cancer. I am thankful for the gift of living in 2019, and having the opportunity for a prophylactic double mastectomy and reconstruction surgery. It will be hard but the advances today allow remarkable results. I am so thankful for this reminder of why I’m doing this surgery and the gift God has given me with my wonderful life!

I’m thankful for the gift God gives me daily in my supportive and strong husband. I’m thankful for the gift of family and friends who love me unconditionally and will help me feel whole during my humpy dumpy moments.

Most of all, I’m thankful for the gift God gives us with love.  All you need is love!