When you find out you are having a daughter, after two boys, you envision pink, fancy dresses, bows, and mother-daughter talks. We were all thrilled to have a girl, but this Mama was the most excited. I couldn’t wait for the dress up times with my little girl!
Well….. fast forward 8 years and the pink has turned to “ANYTHING BUT PINK,”the dresses have turned to either athletic wear or “anything my mother doesn’t pick out to wear,” the bows are still there but only for cheer days, and the mother-daughter talks are a crap shoot.
Today was CHEER DAY! Therefore, the crap shoot might as well just been flushed straight down the toilet (no pun intended). By this time, I have learned that what I had once pictured as a perfect mother-daughter moment of dress up is now a FRANTIC FIASCO of hot rollers, hairspray, bobby pins, screaming (YES- I admitted SCREAMING) and a challenging makeup session between two meetings of the minds.
Putting specifically required, time constrained make-up on an 8 year old, that squirms, that has a head that bobs, that talks non-stop and has an opinion of how it should all be, while turning to critique your work is like me trying to lose those last few pounds. Or lets compare it to climbing Mt. Everest, or running air traffic control (this is when my husband would roll his eyes at my exaggeration, until he actually has to one day do this job!) One cheer mom said that if she can get through it without using the F word it is considered a success- YIKES!
“Mom, Mrs. So N So does it like this!”
“Mom, Did you know that you should use this base stuff? Mrs. So N So uses this base stuff!”
“Mom, Mrs. So N So uses the silver first and then the purple.”
“Mom, Mrs. So N So uses eye liner, too!”
I may or may not have replied “I don’t want to hear what Mrs. So N So did ONE MORE TIME!”
*Note to self not to allow her to spend the night with Mrs So N So’s daughter anymore during cheer competition weekends- even though we love them and they helped us out tremendously. I can’t handle this abuse!
She went on to ask me if I had the make up since I began wearing make-up, which I replied, “No, you have to throw out make-up, when it gets old.” She looked at me sadly and said, “Awe, you are 41!”
Oh Dear! Happy Day! Thanks for the reminder.
She ended our pony tail teasing time by asking me if I will be in my sixties or seventies when she goes to college! I swear.. she was on a roll today. Get those die out of the toilet and lets go to the casino!
Regardless of how much time we allow, we are always behind and rushing. HURRY….LET’S GO…. HURRY….We were late again today! But, not so late that we didn’t stop to join in with the other Fake Facebook Facades by snapping a quick picture of her perfect make-up and making our morning look just grand!
Of course, Daddy couldn’t go, because he had to take the boys to baseball. You know baseball….. the sport that requires the boys to roll out of bed, put on some pants, socks, slides, jersey, brush teeth, and grab a cap. They grab their bags and put the cleats on in the car. Yes, baseball. Those were the good ole days, when I actually could get myself ready for the day.
Today, I looked horrible! She looked and felt amazing (which is all that counts)……. and so did Mrs. So N So!
Yours Truly,
Hairnet Heiness
