First Kiss

The same hill driving towards the town’s lights. The same road. I glance up from our suburban’s passenger seat to see a bus driving in front of us. As it climbs the hill towards the town’s lights, it brings me back.

Seventh grade….I was innocent, yet still curious. I was young, and yet I still had a grown-up love for an 8th grade boy.

The band bus is where my awkward social shyness turned to confidence. Well, it’s where I grew a little in confidence. I am still socially awkward when it comes to flirting or intimacy, even thirty years later, even with the same 8th grade boy.

The game was called “Truth or Dare.” And, if you were a “good girl” (aka awkwardly shy) then you would always say “truth,” only for the crowd to turn their attention away from your boring truth of who you liked at the moment, some silly gossip, or the truth about your first kiss.

Ironically, many truths were just lies about first kisses, because everyone knew if you really had kissed you wouldn’t have said “truth” to begin with.  You would’ve been mouth to mouth by now!

Nobody cares about the truth in Middle School. Middle School is all about faking it until you make it.  So, if you are brought up conservatively, as a Christian, a genuine, a TRUTHFUL kid- “Truth” would seem to be your purposeful path during the game.  “Truth” would also be the safe path. Many times in Middle School playing it safe felt like not playing at all.

Sometimes, my best friend and I would giggle during sleep overs about our future first kiss. She said we should practice on a peach and so we would.

We would critique each others efforts and decide if we were ready for “Dare” just yet. But, even the pressure of kissing a peach in front of my security camera best friend, my forever cheerleader, was scary enough. How would I ever be ready to kiss the live peach (that may or may not even be like a peach) with a bus full of snickering middle school peach pits?

I had always chosen “Truth” over the course of the out of town games. But, that night was different. That particular night, as we drove over the hill and the lights shown from our little town, my heart began to flutter. The adrenaline flushed over me as time was running out. This was our last out of town game to be on the band bus together. Next year, he would be in High School.

It was now or never!

Every second began to stand still as the the bus continued to drive toward our town’s lights… the street lights, Exxon lights, DQ lights that would soon shine all over the bus and lift the privacy blanket we had from our band director and sponsors up front.

As the bus climbed the hill, and the lights began to grow, it happened to be my turn. And, I was sweating! Well, we were all sweating…..it was a 7th and 8th grade band bus, after all!

Anyway, the kids were about to discount my turn, as they were all thinking this would be THE LAST KISS of the ride and THE LAST KISS of the football season. But, one girl turned to me in a quick voice and said “Truth or Dare?”

“Dare!” I proclaimed.

And just like that, THE 8th GRADE BOY leaned across a bus seat with his eyes closed to kiss me.

I didn’t think about the the sponsors, the lights, the peach, the peach pits, my breath, braces, or any of the other millions of worries that I had produced over the last few months of preparation.

I just closed my eyes and kissed him back!

I snap myself out of my almost thirty years ago day dream by laughing to myself. I can’t believe I still remember the details so clearly.  He looks from his driving trance to ask what I am laughing about.

”Nothing,” I reply back to him,  “You want to play Truth or Dare later?”

 

Yours Truly,

Hairnet Heiness