I met an old friend for a spontaneous brunch this summer. We were childhood friends, college roommates , and even shared our early years of motherhood. The memories were buried deep, like those you share with a sister. And, as we sat there, eating our eggs and drinking our coffee, I couldn’t help but let her distinct, loud laughter fall over me like a familiar, beautiful Christmas song, bringing the memories back. I missed that laugh, because I missed my friend!
We had spent much of our lifetime together. It began with the infamous “kid kit” that I brought over to use as a tool to baby sit one afternoon. No, I hadn’t heard they were bad, wild kids that required a special “kit”- I was just a “wannabe” who read books called The Babysitters Club where they brought along a kidkit. Shelley was only two years younger, so I was just there for her younger brother Wade, mostly.
I helped her with cheerleading, as her mother instructed, since her first tryouts for 7th grade were coming up. And, her kid brother played close by. I watched what a great big sister she was. Little did I know that it was the first day of our forever friendship or that I would forever be made fun of for my silly “kid kit!”
Over time, our families became inseparable. If we all had lunch together, we would soon be planning dinner together. We enjoyed High School together..cheering on our boyfriends and cheering on each other through break ups.
We vacationed as families to Galveston, New Orleans, New York, and Aruba. And, later we went to Las Vegas, during our college days and even studied abroad in Spain. Wow! We have some stories to tell!
We shared life, her family was mine and mine was hers… my experiences were hers, and hers were mine. We shared a lifetime together and now it seemed we were a lifetime apart.
Different directions, distance, Daddy’s, and diapers had all found there way between us. We had just been busy the last ten years building different lives and it was fine. We could sit down and pick up where we left off. We could laugh about old times. It was fine.
Little did we know, as we sat there discussing our kids (that were now the ages we used to be) and laughing about old stories….that a diagnosis would bring us back together, in just a few short months.
My heart is broken for my incredibly strong friend of forever. When we first heard of his cancer two months ago, and I reached out, I couldn’t get over her strength and poise. I said, I wish we had more recent time together, but luckily it’s not the last memories that matter. Memories are built over years and years of a lifetime. When a tragedy strikes the memories begin peeling off like an onion…. and with each pungent peel the floods of tears flow from our hearts.
My memories with Shelley’s dad, Tom, are painted in my mind with neon colors. He was always our moving force, our loud, our “non” voice of reason to keep the fun going! He was the witty riddler confusing his gullible audience and entertaining his smarter one. He was the firecracker that went BOOM! He was the $100 bill, when you were broke!! He was something special! He was a lot like my best friend, Shelley!
For me, Tom came into my life at a perfect time. He represented a constant family man, in a time when my mom had divorced and then quickly remarried. He helped our “new normal” become normal and most of all he made life for a teenager, then college kid, then young adult….. fun! Well, he made life for everyone fun (except maybe his wife at times).
Tom was the man that Shelley held above all. He was smart and funny. He was a hard working business man and fair. He was giving and tender hearted. But, most of all he was playful and made a moment of your life fuller and better. My forever friend has so much of him in her. We have so many memories made with him, and have made so many memories, because she is like him.
I know she is broken right now, and I know what he meant to her. But, I also know she will push on, because he taught her that, as well. She will be the bridge everyone needs her to be….to connect the dots and to keep the traffic moving. She will take care of those around her and will keep making memories!
So, as sad as I am for my friend and for the fact that a special phase of our life has ended, I am comforted in knowing the memories will always live on. These bigger than life memories… BOOM type memories….blessings God gives us daily!
Tom knew how to make them and he passed that on in his children, especially to my Shelley! It’s shows when she laughs!
So, here’s to more coffee breaks in our future-catching up, laughing, and talking about Tom. And, here’s to spending more time making “Tom memories” each day!
#boom😢
