Be the Nice Kid

First it was an invisible killer that came in the form of COVID 19 that shook me, along with the rest of the world. And, though I feared it, I relished in the overwhelming feeling of unity. I wasn’t alone. The famous people were feeling like me.  The untouchables were being touched by this same fear and quarantined just like the rest of us.  The entire world shut down and shared my same questions. And, while there was fear, this united fear felt good and powerful.

Time went by and the pandemic fear began to decline.  Eventually, life began to feel some normalcy again. And, suddenly.. we were all shocked and heartbroken with George Floyd’s murder.  However, even though the hurt for George was united, the rioting began to declare a divide.  Once again, the fear began.  Not the fear for my safety or the fear for my white sons as they grow up, as many of my black girlfriends have expressed, my fear came in questioning myself.

Had I been the best person I could be to all of my black friends these 43 years?  Had I lived the best version of myself? The truest version?  The version that I would claim to all my black friends?  Or should I open my white eyelids and truly see what needs to be seen.  Had I been the best teacher or leader to my kids and employees? Had I been kind by always praising others achievements, or had I been selfish and competitive and let diversity sway my thoughts? Had I ever listened…really listened?  Had I spent so much time claiming not to be racist, but little time standing up against racists?  Had I built a wall to separate diverse cultures or had I embraced our differences?  Had I been afraid? Had I been afraid to write about all this?

I’ve been so emotional these past twenty four hours as the hurtful debates began to streamline down across our social feeds about our town, Tatum. I’ve always been so proud of our town.  I grew up here and chose and wanted to bring myself back and raise a family here…. and, not many of my friends will say the same.  But, many of my Tatum friends do.

I am still proud of my town. You know why?  Because.. my kids currently go to Tatum and my kids know true love for their diverse friends.  I know the relationships they have.  I know the respect they show for their friends.

Life is about diversity. Life is about learning… learning about others.. other races, other cultures, other life situations, other histories, other sexes or sexual orientations, other body types, other ages, other religions, other backgrounds… life is also about learning about ourselves.

We learn about ourselves through the hard decision we make. We learn about ourselves as we raise our kids in a new generation. We learn about ourselves when we are quiet or when we speak up.  We learn about ourselves when we think we are our best self, but changes show us there is even a better self to become.  We also learn about ourselves when we make poor choices and ask for forgiveness.

My prayer is that we can just be kind.

My mother….my amazing, WONDERFUL, mother, raised me to view all people as my friend.  I never heard ugly words toward other races growing up in my family, or around my mom’s parents.  She always made me look at all sides of something and show empathy towards people.  Even when you can’t walk in someone’s shoes, you can live in a way that TRIES to have compassion and understanding.

Years ago she gave my three kids a pillow that reads:

“Some kids are smarter than you. Some kids have cooler clothes than you. Some kids are better at sports than you. IT DOESN’T MATTER! You have your thing, too! Be the kid who can get along. Be the kid who is generous!  Be the kid who is happy for other people! Be the kid who does the right thing!  Be the nice kid!”

  I saw it on their beds tonight.  It reminds me of how simple we all just need to play with one another, speak to one another, work with one another, respond on social media to one another.   It reminded me of how lucky I am that she taught me to be kind to others and her mother taught her the same. The only thing that needs to be added to the precious pillow is: “All kids are different from you and that’s OKAY”..

I read the words on the pillow over and over and thought…“How simple our life could be if we would all work to be the nice kid!”