Words of a Babe

My mother and grandmother have told a story throughout the years to our family.  It was about a Christmas night drive, looking at Christmas lights with me, when I was about three years old.  The story is told that we would slow the car by each house of this beautiful neighborhood of homes and observe their décor.

Apparently, even at a young age,  I knew when something was gaudy (or I knew how to mimic my mother and grandmother’s critiques).  Because, they said many times I would look at the houses and say in my small voice, “Too much!”

I was reminded of that story this past weekend, because the same words kept coming over me time and time again.

“Too much!  Too much!  Too much!”

As I sat alone, and watched my son play his fifth game of baseball, while my husband coached in a different town for our older son, that story came to mind.  Our family had stayed up until after midnight watching our oldest strike out and end the game.  And, we had all gotten up around six for early Sunday games and to depart heading in different directions.

Did I mention that I had driven two hours for a cheer competition the previous day for my eight year old daughter, before the late night ballgames?  The mere words “CHEER COMPETITION” should translate in East Texas as “TOO MUCH!”  – too much money, too much make-up, too much gossip about the coaches and other teams, and too much sitting around waiting to find out you drove two hours to tie for fourth place and get a nice ribbon!

I suddenly felt like those same Christmas lights were strangling me now….. and wrapped around my family, my marriage, my job, my weekends, my life, and the list goes on……..

Where was the smart little three year old to recognize- TOO MUCH!  How could I have recognized it then and not now?

Today, each sport has select teams. Each team has many weekly practices, fundraisers, and responsibilities. Each select team plays on the weekend and many on Sundays.  We have been trapped in this for years and we are no better than the rest of the parents strangled by these lights!

But, why?

We have three wonderful children and we want for them!  We want everything!  But, wanting them to have everything can be dangerous today.

They are all thriving academically in school and they are all three athletic. We want them to have the opportunity to find out what their favorite extra curricular activity is or what they excel in the most.  We mainly want them to feel secure, to have their time in the lights, to catch their break when they are in High School level and not feel behind.  And, of course, it’s important for them to learn teamwork, respect for coaches, authority, and rules, and the difference in winning and losing-  RIGHT?

Are these the real reasons?  Do we maybe enjoy the family bonds we make and the social aspect it brings us?  Do we love to watch them accomplish something they have worked for?   Is there that small chance that I think my child may make it to the NBA or to the MLB?  Do I somehow dream BIG for them and BELIEVE LIKE THEM when they say that they will make it? Because, after all, I do know my child better than anyone else!  And……..I did think I was going to win that Power Ball the other night for a split second, too.

But, what if I am stringing them along like Christmas lights to practices and games now for hopes of high school or collegiate opportunities….. WILL THEY EVEN PLAY THEN?  Or will they blow a fuse and their lights burn out?

There is that fine line between support and “TOO MUCH!”

Sometimes it feels like we all signed up for tee ball and then we never got out of the line.  And, back then we were going to church every Sunday and Wednesday nights.  Back then we were focused more on feeding faith and feeding family meals at home around the table rather than feeding a dream.  I miss my husband and I miss our time ALL together as a family.

I looked out there at my son on the mound pitching this past weekend and God said to me- “What did he learn this weekend from me?  What did he hear from me?  When has he really even seen me this weekend?  Many of his hours were spent with coaches and kids he doesn’t even know.”

Too Much!

I just don’t want to look back one day and think of my three kids’ childhoods turning out like some of those houses we saw so long ago.  There was no doubt there was a lot of love, time, effort and money put into those big, beautiful, TACKY Christmas houses.  The intentions were good.   But, even a three year old could recognize the difference between fluff and superficial things, instead of just having simple, beautiful, bright lights that shine for others.

Yours Truly.

Hairnet Heiness